Let’s talk Body Neutrality.
I can hear you now: “Woah, Derrick! I’ve heard of Body Positivity. Is that what you mean?”
Nope! Listen up folks, because I’m going to introduce you to something new. Body positivity refers to a movement on unconditional love and acceptance about our bodies; learning to love the way we look and how our body is. This sounds great! However, sometimes, it feels a bit out of reach. Especially when we live in a society that is pretty body negative. Going from “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” (thanks fashion industry!) to “I unconditionally love the way I look,” is a pretty big leap. That’s where Body Neutrality comes in. Completely benign statements that focus on objective truth and try to take the emotion out of our body’s appearance.
For example, let’s set the scene:
It’s Thanksgiving. Uncle Bill has already launched into a political diatribe and our niece Jazmine has loudly avowed to never speak to him again. The turkey is defying the laws of thermodynamics and will NOT thaw properly no matter what tips you’re frantically reading off of unhelpful blogs where you have to scroll through someone’s life story to get to the helpful part. The tension is thicker than a DQ Blizzard. With stakes and pressure that high, our body is already in a heightened state of stress. The stress makes us predisposed to more impulsive decisions at a time when there are holiday goodies (hello, dopamine!) on every surface. Somehow, we persist. We make it through our dinner without having a complete breakdown. However, the three (extra big) pieces of pie that we ate in a moment of stressful impulsiveness have us feeling a certain type of way.
Body (and food) neutrality is recognizing that those pieces of pie created a physical response which helped us through a stressful time. Instead of “Ugh, I really let myself go. I’m so weak. I shouldn’t have eaten all that pie,” maybe we try, “Boy am I glad those pieces of pie helped me feel better at a stressful time.”
In a recent group we ran here on the Ranch, our consulting dietitian and I worked with folks to identify body negative comments and shift them to body neutral statements. Instead of “That person is skinnier than me,” we try to think, “That person’s body is designed for the way they live their life and mine is designed for my life.”
Want to meme-ify it?
Broke: “Geez, I’m so fat ☹”
Woke: “My body is made of lots of different parts, including fat.”
*Bespoke*: “Fat protects my internal organs and insulates my neurons so my brain can work properly.”
We’re hoping to take some of the sting out of the way we talk to ourselves about our body and the food we put in it. No one is perfect (because the definition of perfect is a slippery—and purposefully unattainable!—thing that changes with the culture). So maybe you can give yourself a bit of grace in this trying time.
When your mind isn’t trapped in a cycle of negative thoughts about your body, you’ll free up much more brainspace to be present in the moment and think of joyful things, like, “Wow, the cinnamon to nutmeg ratio in Aunt Phyllis’s pumpkin pie was spot on this year!” The pie itself was a burst of pleasure, but framing it as a delicious experience without judgement extends that pleasure through the heated after-dinner discussion of Tom Brady.
Shifting to a body neutral mindset takes time and practice. We hope you’ll find an opportunity this season to try it out!
Wishing you a peaceful and neutral holidays,
With love from Spring Lake Ranch
